6 SKILLS YOU CAN DEVELOP WHEN ALONE

     The first skill which can be achieved through loneliness is generosity, which is the journey of learning how to give your love and support to others.  Generosity enables you to focus on the simplicity in life’s experiences as they are and to acknowledge the fact that the universe helps all humans without judgment or discrimination. 

     A second skill which can be achieved through loneliness is discipline, which allows you to be present and responsible for each moment and to connect with the opportunity of each life experience. Discipline is an “undoing” or “reworking” process, which can support you when going against the grain of past, and often negative and pain-provoking, behavioral and cognitive patterns.  Discipline can provide you with immense encouragement to step further into uncertain circumstances and to learn from your sense of groundlessness.

     A third skill which can be achieved through loneliness is patience, which is best understood as the antidote to anger, frustration, blame, and shame.  The journey of patience involves relaxing within the inevitable uncertainty of life events and opening yourself to whatever is happening with both willingness and freedom to learn from uncertainty.

     A fourth skill which can be achieved through loneliness is vigor, or conscious exertion.  Vigor refers to your acceptance of what you “can” do and what you simply “cannot” do.  Vigor allows you to take action, to give compassion to others and to yourself, and to work with appreciation and gratitude in whatever comes your way.  When you apply vigor to your daily tasks, you will find that you become better able to connect with the bigger perspective of your life.  

     A fifth skill which can be achieved through loneliness is concentration, which allows you to connect with all challenging and traumatic circumstances and with difficult people.  Through concentration, you learn that you do not need to either grasp at or reject anything encountered in your life’s path.  Mindfulness is a learned skill which enables you to truly embrace your moment-to-moment awareness of YOU and to gain understanding of your mind-body connection.  For instance, you can use mindfulness to fully focus on your anger, your fear, your joy, or your peace.  

     The final skill which can be achieved through loneliness is wisdom, which is by far the most precious gift of loneliness.  Wisdom can be gained by being alone with ALL of your memories, fears, insecurities, disappointments, unfulfilled goals, and inventory of your core values.  Yes, lonely phases of your life may involve anxiety, despair, insomnia, grief, and many other disturbing states of being.  Rather than perceiving loneliness as a “problem,” you can reframe it as a time to concentrate only on YOU and to build coping skills to apply to all other life challenges.

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